Two years ago today, my mother breathed her last and moved from this life to the next. She was remarkable and one of my dearest treasures. As providence would have it, last weekend I stumbled upon a letter she wrote to me on my 16th birthday. It brought her spirit near and enveloped me in her love once again. This is what she wrote:
My Dearest Daughter Victoria,
This is not intended to be an inspired writing – though it may very well be – I just felt a great necessity to write you a letter of love. You are the sunshine of my life! That statement sounds so simple yet it speaks my heart. Without you my life would be colorless – lacking in the beauty you bring it. You are 16 years old now. I feel you have always been in my life. Before you were born I dreamed of you – imagining what you would be like? When would you come? Would you love me? Could I be a good mother? Would you love Jesus? Then you came and my life became absorbed with you – and I loved you so much. I wondered what you would be like at 16, this magic age, and never in my wildest dreams did I see so special a time as you are living. You are a beautiful, gracious and talented young woman on the edge of the rest of your life.
The next few years will let me see the person you are inside. Until now the growing has been mostly physical (not all, but mostly) and we have put a lot of emphasis on how you look and your appearance. Maybe too much – but because of your birth defect, I felt it necessary for you to be at your best and to have a good image of yourself. I am so proud of you and how you take good care of your appearance.
I am also proud that you have and are developing a character that can reflect Jesus. I am aware of Him in your life and can see Him in your personality. It is a joy that I can trust you to be strong in your convictions of right and wrong.
The next two years I will be helping you prepare for adulthood. The thought of you growing up and away is scary for me – not for you! You have a beautiful future awaiting you and I will take pride in it with you.
Forgive me if I get “preachy” sometimes about some things. But adulthood brings many responsibilities that a 16 year old has no concept of – even a smart one like you! I ask you to be aware. Look around often and see what you can do and be in your world – school, home, church, etc. that will make a difference. Make an impact! Be sure the world knows Victoria is alive and well and serving God. Don’t pass over anything you can do that would please God. Life is short and every day is important. Begin (it would be a shock to do it suddenly) to look beyond yourself and view the things and people around you in a selfless way. Not many people really learn to do this in their whole lifetime – it is a giant task – but a rewarded one because it makes your life have purpose and value and meaning.
Lets always stay close. If I disappoint you (and I will) I don’t mean to and will need you to forgive me. I want to be your friend but I will not sacrifice my place as your mother to be that. I know you have many friends – I know you will only have one mother – me! Learn from me what I can teach you – take from me what only I can give you. I will receive from you too! You add so much to my life.
Don’t EVER lie to me. How special is my trust in you. If that should ever go we would lose something VERY valuable. I would prefer hearing a hard truth from you than a lie to protect my feelings.
Always trust God’s direction. Only He can see the future!
All My Love,
PS I’ll probably always cheer for my favorite! My favorite will always be you!
I’m so grateful my mother loved me enough to give me words from her to keep. I needed that today as I remember her life. I miss you sweet mama.© Twirling Girl, 2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Twirling Girl with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.