When I found my mother on her knees in prayer, I knew it wouldn’t be long before she would confront me with blunt honesty about a character trait that needed correcting, or a behavior that was unbecoming, or worse, expose the dark thoughts of my heart to the harsh light of truth. My mother on her knees, just the sight of it, evoked preemptive confession, because I learned early that God spoke to her…about me.

She loved me, sometimes to the point of suffocation, but even then, I knew how fortunate I was to have the love of this fine woman. She spoke wisdom into every season of my life. Words I would at first resent that would later bring life. Words I repeat to my own daughter. She found the balance between being my mother and being my friend, and I strive to replicate it, but I am not she, and my daughter is not me.

She would dish with me until the wee hours after a first date. Draw out of me the details of a first kiss. Help me heal from broken hearts and never belittle the drama of early love. She tried to argue me out of every boyfriend I ever had, and the one-day she could not successfully convince me that the boy was not right for me, was the day she knew I had found “the one.”

She was proud of me and I never doubted it. As the wife of a pastor, she had a public face that gave time and attention to everyone but me, but within the walls of our home, I was the apple of her eye. She spoke well of me to others and the blessings of her words of love continue to spill over me as I hear them repeated to me from the lips of her friends.

My Lovely Mama

This is my third Mother’s Day without my precious mother. I feel the loss of her wisdom, love, and strength everyday as I strive to be an insightful mother to my daughter. I wish I could call her for advice. Like her though, I spend time on my knees seeking God’s wisdom. My daughter will experience the same phenomenon; a mother who appears clairvoyant, but in truth, is simply exercising her privilege as a daughter of the Most High God, to receive the wisdom of heaven.

I miss her. Especially on days like Mother’s Day. She was remarkable. If I am able to harness only a sliver of her essence, it will sustain me. If I am fortunate enough to experience the same connection to the Divine as she did, I will bring light to my family. May it be so.

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7 thoughts on “A Little Bit About My Mother

  1. Your mother was truly a remarkable woman. I remember her great desire to become a mom, and her prayer that God give her the right man, or take away the burning desire to be a mother. You completed her. I, too, miss her.

  2. I had not idea the gift you have for expressing the truths that you held within. You have such a clear view of your mom. She was a mother to many and I was one that recieved so much of the blessing of her life, being the best friend to her remarkable daughter. I am grateful for you and the love that we shared so many years ago. Although the distance has been evident in our communication, the love remains. Thank you for expressing so eloquently the love for your mom. You are keeping the gift of her life alive in your own. I love you…Kim

    1. I love you too dear dear friend. Thank you for remembering her with me. A childhood friend can validate the truth of my life better than any other expression.

  3. Each time I read one of your blogs Vicky, I believe I am hearing the voice of your remarkable
    Mother. This one is the top on them all to date. I gained more insight into Sharon, the Pastor’s wife and Sharon, the Mom. How lovely you write and with such love! Your Mom is still very much alive in you and all you reflect to share with us. It does not seem like it has been three years she left to go to heaven but then some days it seems like a life time ago. How you must miss her….I do…her smile and kind words of caring. I can now experience them through
    you, sweet girl. The words that Kim expressed are so sweet and clear and blessed me beyond
    measure. To see both of you not only still loving the Lord but sharing your lives, hearts and
    gifts with us all. God continually bless you both and I am so thankful to have known you both when you were much younger and still feel that loving bond that only Christians have with one
    another….no matter the miles or the passing of time…..Jesus is alive and well and He shines out of both of you, Dear Hearts! My Mom went to be with her loving Lord in 1987 but I still miss the sound of voice and her love. I also had a wonderful praying Mother-in-love (law) who went to heaven in 2005 not a day goes by that I do not miss her wisdom, love and grace.
    So I count my blessings I really had two Mothers who blessed my life and one day very soon
    I will be with them and my Loving Lord Jesus….some days can’t be soon enough but then God reminds me that His work must be done (hopefully in a loving way as they did) and it is still my
    turn. You, Vicky are certainly doing your part and the same goes for Kim. Much love to you
    both and big online hugs. Myra

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